A Beautiful Mess

Life is a mess. We stumble through it and experience every emotion there is to experience. There are moments of overwhelming love, innocent joy, fulfilling peace. Then there's the pain of betrayal, the struggle to say goodbye, the uncertainty of all the unknowns. I recently watched a movie and one of the characters basically said we work to perfect our lives. We toil and struggle under what seems to be the opposition of the world. We give up so much and lose what we place value in- all for that one moment of peace. One moment where everything is practically perfect. Only to have that one moment end and life to, once again, fall apart.

Why? Why does it always fall apart? Why can't the good stay, well, good long enough to enjoy it? And if we know life is bound to fall apart, WHAT IS THE POINT? Life is a mess. I'm a mess. And I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one. 

So, why does life always seem to fall apart? I read Ecclesiastes 3:11 this morning which says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Life is painful and falls apart because we were't made for this life. We were made for so much more. In our hearts lies a longing for eternity. When life falls apart, I'm reminded of what I was created for; what my heart longs for. I don't understand why I experience pain- but I do know that there is purpose in my pain. A purpose that I cannot begin to fathom. Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Even though I really wish I knew all the whys, I do know that I serve the God who not only knows, but orchestrates it all. Does that make it any less difficult? No, not really. But it does make life worth enduring. 

There are so many beautiful moments in life, but there are also moments when it all falls apart and I'm left wondering what the point of it all is. As I was thinking about that last week, Romans 8:28 came to mind, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The answer is almost painfully simple. God works ALL things together for good. "Good" is not be confused with my worldly definition of good. It doesn't mean fairytale ending or happily ever after- at least not on this side of eternity. Good means eternal good. The ending will be perfect- just as God has designed. But for now, we have to endure a few bumps and bruises for God's plan to be complete. 

So, yeah. I'm a mess. I often feel like I'm doing a lot more harm than good. I'm doubtful. I'm selfish. I'm lazy. Just to name a few. But God does't love me for what I am or what I could be- he loves me because he wants to. I could never begin to earn his love because every gift or calling I have is one he has given me. And yet, he has called me "according to his purpose". I'm a mess- but because of his unfathomable love, I'm a beautiful mess.