Living with Open Hands

I can remember the first church my dad ever pastored. It was a very small church because it was a very small town. Almost every Sunday, an older man, who sat a few rows behind us, always lifted his hands when he sang, and sometimes when he prayed. I can remember the way he raised up his arms, elbows slightly bent, a look of concentration on his face with eyes closed as he sang. I was six or seven years-old when I began copying him. I lifted my hands and sometimes closed my eyes when I sang. 

One day, I was in the car with Mom when we asked me why I raised my hands when I sang. I don't remember my exact wording, but I do remember being sincere in what I said. Open hands are a symbol of surrender, giving it all over to God. When my hands are empty, it's easy to surrender. Here I am God! I've got nothing but myself to offer You, but here I am!

That was my attitude for years as I grew in Christ. I didn't have much to offer, I was just a child. I became used to empty hands. I would ask God for different things, but He kept reminding me He was enough. Eventually, I believed Him and was satisfied. 

Time went by and I forgot about the requests I made, the things I wanted delivered into my hands. One day, I looked down and my hands were full. I was thrilled as I watched prayers being answered. I basked in the gifts God had given me.

And, slowly, my hands started to close. 

The open hands became small fists as I struggled to hold on to the treasures God had given me. I fought, I reasoned, I begged. I had waited too long, struggled too hard to simply let it all go! Yet, God continually coaxed me to open my hands and surrender. I was caught in idolatry valuing the gift more than the Giver.

Wait, I am an idolator?

Recently, I've been reading through Jeremiah. As I struggled with my idols, I opened to read Jeremiah 44, entitled: Disaster Because of Idolatry. Ok, God, you've got my attention. The chapter talks about how God warns the Israelites to give up their idols and come back to Him. They flat out refuse. Thus, God promises that disaster will come.

Everyday idols are everywhere. Our family, our friends, our possessions, our hobbies- all of it can become an idol! Living with open, surrendered hands is hard because sometimes God gives us gifts and answers prayers, but other times He takes away and our hearts are broken. Job 1:21 is a key verse to keep in mind: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!"