Just Me and My All

Last night I had an amazing time talking to God and reading the Bible. Who knew how much truth and hope the book of First Samuel held? I also have been able to relate to the book of Psalm in a new amazing way.
Firstly, instead of asking God "Why me?" He is changing my attitude and helping me realize how much I do not deserve His favor and love. Think about it, God could have left me sobbing and hopeless in the ER waiting room that night. Instead, however, He gave me strength and peace like never before. Psalm 8:3-4, "When I consider your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" My family and I are a living testimony to the fact that God does not forsake his children. He has been preparing me for this day and known it would happen since before the world was made.
I have been keeping a journal since I was 8. About 6 months back I wrote that I felt that that time was a time of rest. Life had been fairly easy. I was reading the Bible everyday and enjoying the time of peacefulness. I felt, however, that my walk didn't match my talk. It's easy, for example, to trust in God when He has given you two loving parents and a great church and family. My life was good, so why shouldn't my spiritual life be the same? That's how I felt that others saw me. And they had every right to view me as such.
Now, everyone waits to see if we will sink or swim. I'm doing neither. God is carrying me to shore, he is my strength. Psalm 10: 17-18 says,"You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." It's very strange to think of myself as fatherless, but at the same time, it is comforting. There are so many verses in the Bible where God says He is with the fatherless, He is my Father. He gives me strength to stand and carries me when I cannot.
My earthly father was not my purpose in life or my reason to live. I love him so much, and I will always miss him, but God remains as my King. Psalm 16:2, "I said to the LORD, 'You are my LORD; apart from you, I have no good thing.'" This is my life song and cry! And I desire it to be the cry and desire of everyone in my church and in my family!
These verses have given me great strength and hope. Last night was the first time in a long while where spending time with my King was more important than family, food, or sleep. I needed it and yearned for Him. Time fell away and it was just me and my All. Praying it stays that way!