Missing My Daddy

This past week and a half have been very busy. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the moment and forget about all that has happened. But  it's those slow, quiet nights that remind me that my daddy is no longer on this earth. Jonathan and I had a moment like that Tuesday night.
We were about to go to bed and I said: "Can I ask you a question, Buddy?"
Jonathan: "Sure."
Me: "What was your favorite thing about Daddy?"
He sat there for a minute and tears started to well up in his eyes and his lip poked out a little. So I said: "It can be something funny."
Jonathan: "I was hoping I could say something serious."
Me: "Ok, you can say something serious."
Jonathan, with his voice cracking: "Daddy was kind, and he loved Jesus, and he loved his family."
I sat there for a minute, and realized how much he meant what he had just said. Jonathan wasn't just saying some nice words, this was what he loved about his daddy.
Then I remembered something crazy Dad used to do, and I told Jonathan. "Do you know what Daddy used to do after I spent a long time fixing my hair? He would walk in and rub my head (like he did when I was little) and I would shout 'Daddy! I just fixed my hair. Stop it!'" Jonathan giggled and laughed and together we remembered.
I've had a lot of thoughts and feelings since that Tuesday. Anger, confusion, loneliness, hurt. I'm angry because I do not understand how God could do this. Kind of like an infant. Parents give things to their baby and take from them because they know what is best. Often times, the baby will cry because they do not understand. They kick and scream and as they grow up, they understand. That's how I feel. I know God has a purpose for this, and I love Him as before, I just don't understand. And that's okay for now. I'm confused because I'm not sure what happens next, but I do know that God does. I'm lonely and hurt because sometimes I look over and expect Dad to be there. Sitting in his chair, laughing the loudest of all, wrestling with his Boy. I have those moments very often, and I kind of like them because for a moment, everything feels back to normal.
But normal isn't what God intended. We are created to glorify God and enjoy His creation. My dad glorified God with his life, and in his death. And now he is in heaven rejoicing in his Creator. It doesn't get any better! I can't wait to join both of my Dads one day!
Jonathan cannot understand all of that right now, but this is what I told him at the end of our conversation: "Buddy, do you know who loved Daddy more than we did? God. And He loved Daddy so very much that God couldn't stand to be away from him another day." It was time for Michael Whitt to go home to his heavenly Father.