Praising God this morning for another way He provided, and I didn't even know it at the time.
When Dad was taken to the hospital, mom rode with him in the ambulance. Some friends took our van and I told them that Flowers hospital in Dothan was probably where he was headed. That's where Julia and Jonathan were born, and I believe where I got my stitches when I was 4. Anyway, that made the most sense at the time, thus we sped to Flowers.
As soon as we left the ball field, we knew we had to contact family. Lydia and a friend called our grandparents, and I texted aunts and uncles. My moms parents live fairly close, so they immediately headed to Flowers with us. Somehow or another, Gigi (Moms mom) and Mom got into contact and were told to go to the Medical Center. So Gigi contacted Muc (Moms brother) and Uncle Muc knew we were headed to Flowers. I can't remember how he put two and two together, but he immediately called my cell and told me to go to the Medical Center.
I can only imagine how much more horrible it would've been if the girls and I had ended up in the wrong hospital. Yes, we would've realized our error, but 30 minutes too late.
God provided once again through my Uncle, who doesn't live anywhere near us. You could try and blame this on chance of you want, but we were all so panicked and frazzled, I believe only God could've turned that vehicle around. Praising God continually!
August 30, 2013
August 24, 2013
Desires of My Heart
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
When I was five years-old, Jesus became the desire of my heart, but I didn't truly know that. I only knew that I had felt Jesus "knocking on the door of my heart" and I wanted to let him in. I wanted to one day be in heaven with Him. I had no idea what that verse meant, I still don't, to some extent.
It's easy to look at that verse and blame God for many things. When I was 12, the desire of my heart was a best friend. I looked at God and asked him why. Why couldn't I have some one to talk to? To hang out with? To dream with? I wanted a girl my age, my grade, and my convictions. Did God give me all that? Thankfully, no. God gave me the desires of my heart by changing them to his desires.
Often people fail to look at the next verse. Psalm 37: 5-7: "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..." God is not my genie I go to when I want something. At the same time, He is not looking down from heaven, concerned with "bigger problems" than my own. God has a master plan, an ultimate design. And when I became his child, over time, my desires have become to glorify his name and help fulfill His perfect plan. His desires have become my desires.
That night, it feels like it happened long ago, I prayed "God, the desire of my heart is for my Daddy to live. To watch me graduate. To walk me down the aisle. To play with his grandchildren." I would be lying if I didn't say that that is still my heart's desire! But at the same time, I have joy in watching God's plan play out in my life. Watching how he is providing for my family, and for my church in an overwhelming way. At times I feel like I'm living in a movie or a book. Can all of this really be happening to me? I mean, both the good and the hard? Sometimes I want to burst into tears. Other times, I want to burst into song. God is faithful! He provides for his children! My life, my family, my dreams, I have committed everything to God! And the wonderful thing about it is, in Him I can't "mess up" or "fail". He has had it all planned out since before time began. I'm just along for the ride. And what a beautiful ride it is! There is truly no better place to be than in the center of God's will.
When I was five years-old, Jesus became the desire of my heart, but I didn't truly know that. I only knew that I had felt Jesus "knocking on the door of my heart" and I wanted to let him in. I wanted to one day be in heaven with Him. I had no idea what that verse meant, I still don't, to some extent.
It's easy to look at that verse and blame God for many things. When I was 12, the desire of my heart was a best friend. I looked at God and asked him why. Why couldn't I have some one to talk to? To hang out with? To dream with? I wanted a girl my age, my grade, and my convictions. Did God give me all that? Thankfully, no. God gave me the desires of my heart by changing them to his desires.
Often people fail to look at the next verse. Psalm 37: 5-7: "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..." God is not my genie I go to when I want something. At the same time, He is not looking down from heaven, concerned with "bigger problems" than my own. God has a master plan, an ultimate design. And when I became his child, over time, my desires have become to glorify his name and help fulfill His perfect plan. His desires have become my desires.
That night, it feels like it happened long ago, I prayed "God, the desire of my heart is for my Daddy to live. To watch me graduate. To walk me down the aisle. To play with his grandchildren." I would be lying if I didn't say that that is still my heart's desire! But at the same time, I have joy in watching God's plan play out in my life. Watching how he is providing for my family, and for my church in an overwhelming way. At times I feel like I'm living in a movie or a book. Can all of this really be happening to me? I mean, both the good and the hard? Sometimes I want to burst into tears. Other times, I want to burst into song. God is faithful! He provides for his children! My life, my family, my dreams, I have committed everything to God! And the wonderful thing about it is, in Him I can't "mess up" or "fail". He has had it all planned out since before time began. I'm just along for the ride. And what a beautiful ride it is! There is truly no better place to be than in the center of God's will.
August 17, 2013
The Proudest Moment: Washing Feet
My Daddy was an amazing man, and I had many obvious reasons to be proud of him. But I can remember one moment in particular that my heart nearly burst with joy over his example.
I believe it was a Saturday morning in January 2012 and it was time to clean out the shed and freezer room. (Blah!) First, Dad decided we would start with the freezer room where we store little bit of everything. First we had to get everything out, sort through it, then put the needed stuff back. Mom was running back and forth between cleaning and house work. And somehow or another, she and dad had a little tiff. I can't remember what it was about but dad was frustrated and stressed and mom got exasperated and went away to cool off before feelings got hurt.
That night, Dad called us all together before we went to bed because he had something to say. He turned to mom and apologized to her for getting frustrated, then turned to us and apologized for arguing in front of us. I have never seen my daddy be more of a man than in that moment. Letting go of his pride and coming before his family willing to admit he was wrong.
No one likes to admit when they are wrong, let alone apologize. And I will certainly agree that it is not easy. Somehow, apologizing makes us feel weaker, because we realize that we are not perfect and that hurts our pride. God, however, did not call us to be high and mighty. Instead, his son Jesus set the example of lowering himself and washing others' feet.
Who's feet has God called you to wash?
I believe it was a Saturday morning in January 2012 and it was time to clean out the shed and freezer room. (Blah!) First, Dad decided we would start with the freezer room where we store little bit of everything. First we had to get everything out, sort through it, then put the needed stuff back. Mom was running back and forth between cleaning and house work. And somehow or another, she and dad had a little tiff. I can't remember what it was about but dad was frustrated and stressed and mom got exasperated and went away to cool off before feelings got hurt.
That night, Dad called us all together before we went to bed because he had something to say. He turned to mom and apologized to her for getting frustrated, then turned to us and apologized for arguing in front of us. I have never seen my daddy be more of a man than in that moment. Letting go of his pride and coming before his family willing to admit he was wrong.
No one likes to admit when they are wrong, let alone apologize. And I will certainly agree that it is not easy. Somehow, apologizing makes us feel weaker, because we realize that we are not perfect and that hurts our pride. God, however, did not call us to be high and mighty. Instead, his son Jesus set the example of lowering himself and washing others' feet.
Who's feet has God called you to wash?
August 09, 2013
Joy Comes in the Morning!
One month ago, my life was shaken. Dreams fell apart, plans were destroyed because the unthinkable happened. My Daddy was received into heaven.
Please recognize that I used the term "shaken" and not "destroyed". This is because my dad was not my life. He was not my hope or my all. That position belongs completely to God. I was, however, terribly shocked and broken before God. I still I have trouble believing this is all real.
There have been moments of anger, overwhelming sorrow, and confusion. But the joy of Christ has reigned overall. Psalm 30:5 says, "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain at night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." I thought I knew what this meant beforehand, but now I understand it is a whole new light. All the pain and sorrow have a purpose, and I got to see a glimpse of that purpose while in Washington DC last week with family friends.
God told me before we left that He wanted me to share the love of Jesus with someone. I went into panic mode. If you know me, you know I have a little box I like to fit into and stay there. Everything has a schedule. And besides that, I'm not the type to go up and talk to strangers. I like building a relationship before I ask them where they stand with Christ. Anyway, I freaked out, so I went to read the Bible and God showed me Psalm 19:13, "Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me..." That made me realize that God was calling me to obey, and even though I had an option, God wanted to use me to glorify Him. I feared more than anything that I would chicken out and disobey. Thus, I told three close friends about this calling, and they promised to pray for me.
Once in DC, I was again afraid that I would miss an opportunity and fail. And more than that, I would have to tell those three friends I had failed. Finally, I quit worrying and God gave me peace. Sunday night, after a long day of sightseeing at Mount Vernon, the family's daughter wanted to go swim at the pool. I was reluctant to go at first, but then realized it was a good opportunity to journal and read the Bible. Thus, we went up for about an hour. After I finished my reading and praying, I looked over to see the life guard sitting in a chair near the pool towels. God tells me "That's him." With my heart beating 100 MPH, I go over to get my friend a towel to dry off with. Before going back, I stop and ask the man (probably about 40 years-old) if there was any way I could pray for him. He looks at me for a second and breaks into a grin. He asks "What do you mean?" A few sentences later I ask him if he thinks he will go to heaven when he dies. He replies that he is a pretty good man, but figures he will have to wait until he gets there. I then get to tell him about my dad. I say that he was a good man, a preacher at that, but that is not why he is in heaven. It is because he had faith in God. I share Romans 6:23 and tell him that the only thing we earn is death. Jesus died for us because he loves us, and if we realize we cannot get to heaven on our own and have faith in him, that is how we can get to heaven.
Of course, I didn't explain it as orderly as that because I was so nervous. I did ask him if he had a Bible, and he did. He, in return, asked where would be a good place to start reading. I tell him the book of John is a great place to start. Before going back to the room, I tell they man that I will be praying that he asks Jesus to be his Savior. The life guard is all smiles.
Wow! I've prayed for that man very often since that night. I pray I get to meet him again in heaven. Either way, though, I was blessed that night. After sharing, I felt so joyful, like I was about to burst! I wanted to sing and dance and celebrate because knowing I had obeyed Jesus' will that night was the best thing ever! And more than that, the reason for my dad's death was given a face. And that gives me such hope, knowing that it wasn't in vain. Joy most certainly comes in the morning!
Please recognize that I used the term "shaken" and not "destroyed". This is because my dad was not my life. He was not my hope or my all. That position belongs completely to God. I was, however, terribly shocked and broken before God. I still I have trouble believing this is all real.
There have been moments of anger, overwhelming sorrow, and confusion. But the joy of Christ has reigned overall. Psalm 30:5 says, "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain at night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." I thought I knew what this meant beforehand, but now I understand it is a whole new light. All the pain and sorrow have a purpose, and I got to see a glimpse of that purpose while in Washington DC last week with family friends.
God told me before we left that He wanted me to share the love of Jesus with someone. I went into panic mode. If you know me, you know I have a little box I like to fit into and stay there. Everything has a schedule. And besides that, I'm not the type to go up and talk to strangers. I like building a relationship before I ask them where they stand with Christ. Anyway, I freaked out, so I went to read the Bible and God showed me Psalm 19:13, "Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me..." That made me realize that God was calling me to obey, and even though I had an option, God wanted to use me to glorify Him. I feared more than anything that I would chicken out and disobey. Thus, I told three close friends about this calling, and they promised to pray for me.
Once in DC, I was again afraid that I would miss an opportunity and fail. And more than that, I would have to tell those three friends I had failed. Finally, I quit worrying and God gave me peace. Sunday night, after a long day of sightseeing at Mount Vernon, the family's daughter wanted to go swim at the pool. I was reluctant to go at first, but then realized it was a good opportunity to journal and read the Bible. Thus, we went up for about an hour. After I finished my reading and praying, I looked over to see the life guard sitting in a chair near the pool towels. God tells me "That's him." With my heart beating 100 MPH, I go over to get my friend a towel to dry off with. Before going back, I stop and ask the man (probably about 40 years-old) if there was any way I could pray for him. He looks at me for a second and breaks into a grin. He asks "What do you mean?" A few sentences later I ask him if he thinks he will go to heaven when he dies. He replies that he is a pretty good man, but figures he will have to wait until he gets there. I then get to tell him about my dad. I say that he was a good man, a preacher at that, but that is not why he is in heaven. It is because he had faith in God. I share Romans 6:23 and tell him that the only thing we earn is death. Jesus died for us because he loves us, and if we realize we cannot get to heaven on our own and have faith in him, that is how we can get to heaven.
Of course, I didn't explain it as orderly as that because I was so nervous. I did ask him if he had a Bible, and he did. He, in return, asked where would be a good place to start reading. I tell him the book of John is a great place to start. Before going back to the room, I tell they man that I will be praying that he asks Jesus to be his Savior. The life guard is all smiles.
Wow! I've prayed for that man very often since that night. I pray I get to meet him again in heaven. Either way, though, I was blessed that night. After sharing, I felt so joyful, like I was about to burst! I wanted to sing and dance and celebrate because knowing I had obeyed Jesus' will that night was the best thing ever! And more than that, the reason for my dad's death was given a face. And that gives me such hope, knowing that it wasn't in vain. Joy most certainly comes in the morning!
August 03, 2013
More Than My Creator
When some people think of God, they imagine an all powerful being in the sky too busy with major world issues to consider us. I know this to be 100% false, and my life is a testimony to that.
When I was 8, we had just moved to a new city, and I really wanted a best friend. I made a list of qualities she should have and prayed that I might meet her soon. With the faith of a child, I prayed for her almost everyday for 4 years. I became good friends with a few people off and on, but they never met my expectations. I wanted a someone who was completely loyal, truthful, godly, and one I could tell anything to. I trusted a very few people with this high expectations, and they always fell very short.
When I was 10, I was in the middle of church singing, and suddenly I heard God say, "I am your best friend." That spoke volumes to me. He was all I needed, all I would ever need. He met me where I was, I didn't have to be a great theologian to hear from God or a powerful leader.
Nevertheless, I fought God between wanting a friend just my age, and depending on Him. I discovered that when I began to depend on close friends to fill in the part of my best friend, I was expecting them to be perfect. The perfectly loyal, trustworthy, godly friend. And guess what? Only God is all that! I was wanting them to be God!
Since that time, God has blessed me with some of the best friends on planet earth. I quit lining up the perfect friend my age, and realized my mom, my sisters, the girl I babysit, friends from school, from youth group, they are my closest friends! They each bless me and encourage me in different ways! The difficult part is balancing between enjoying these friends, and expecting them to be God. But, as long as I look to Him the most, He keeps me on track.
The closer I am to God, the easier it is to hear Him speak. Six months ago, God brought me to my knees, and I had no idea why. Before I could sleep, I HAD to read the Bible. And as I read, He laid on my heart that something was coming. A storm like never before, that would test all I had ever laid a foundation on. The verse that was laid on my heart was: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I got on my knees and begged God to keep that promise. I truly didn't know why; life was great. Still, I felt the urge to pray like never before.
Now, I get why. I understand why He had me pray that way. God was preparing me for something I had never dared imagine. And through that time, He gave me strength for that day, and everyday since then.
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow!"
PS! I've noticed that the majority of people who have read this, I have never even met. Thus, I don't know where your relationship with God is, but if you have a question, please message me. Whether it's about my story, God, or spiritual things, ask away! I can't pretend I have all the answer, but I am best friends with the God who does!
When I was 8, we had just moved to a new city, and I really wanted a best friend. I made a list of qualities she should have and prayed that I might meet her soon. With the faith of a child, I prayed for her almost everyday for 4 years. I became good friends with a few people off and on, but they never met my expectations. I wanted a someone who was completely loyal, truthful, godly, and one I could tell anything to. I trusted a very few people with this high expectations, and they always fell very short.
When I was 10, I was in the middle of church singing, and suddenly I heard God say, "I am your best friend." That spoke volumes to me. He was all I needed, all I would ever need. He met me where I was, I didn't have to be a great theologian to hear from God or a powerful leader.
Nevertheless, I fought God between wanting a friend just my age, and depending on Him. I discovered that when I began to depend on close friends to fill in the part of my best friend, I was expecting them to be perfect. The perfectly loyal, trustworthy, godly friend. And guess what? Only God is all that! I was wanting them to be God!
Since that time, God has blessed me with some of the best friends on planet earth. I quit lining up the perfect friend my age, and realized my mom, my sisters, the girl I babysit, friends from school, from youth group, they are my closest friends! They each bless me and encourage me in different ways! The difficult part is balancing between enjoying these friends, and expecting them to be God. But, as long as I look to Him the most, He keeps me on track.
The closer I am to God, the easier it is to hear Him speak. Six months ago, God brought me to my knees, and I had no idea why. Before I could sleep, I HAD to read the Bible. And as I read, He laid on my heart that something was coming. A storm like never before, that would test all I had ever laid a foundation on. The verse that was laid on my heart was: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I got on my knees and begged God to keep that promise. I truly didn't know why; life was great. Still, I felt the urge to pray like never before.
Now, I get why. I understand why He had me pray that way. God was preparing me for something I had never dared imagine. And through that time, He gave me strength for that day, and everyday since then.
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow!"
PS! I've noticed that the majority of people who have read this, I have never even met. Thus, I don't know where your relationship with God is, but if you have a question, please message me. Whether it's about my story, God, or spiritual things, ask away! I can't pretend I have all the answer, but I am best friends with the God who does!
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