My Dad asked about 3 weeks ago "If we could move anywhere in the world, where would you want to move?" Each of us had a different place in mind. Such as Auburn, Africa, South America. Me? I wanted to stay in Abbeville. Why? Not just because it's a small town, safe, and everything is so close. It was because of the people. The forever friendships I have developed with people here. I never knew how much I would need those friends in the weeks to come.
Tuesday, July 9th, 2013 will forever stick out in my mind. Dad had a softball game with the church league. He's on the blue FBC team. The first game he was a little slow, and if you ever met my dad, you know that he was well known for his speed. That night he didn't run many bases. He kept stopping to catch his breath. The second game, he was playing okay, but wouldn't go into the field. Suddenly I heard someone say Dad was on the ground. I jumped up and sprinted out there. I was handed a precious little boy mom had been watching and so I moved away. But not before I caught a glimpse of him. He was shaking really hard and his head was moving back and forth. I went over to the side to wait and someone took the toddler from me. I ran back over and felt myself panic, turn white, and want to pass out. My youth pastor blocked my view and moved me away. My former youth pastor's wife grabbed me and we waited.
An ambulance was called and my youth pastor and former youth pastor drove my sisters and I to the hospital. I thought everything was going to be alright. It supposed to just a concussion and a seizure. Psalm 91 played over my mind again and again. We got to the family waiting room and prayed. Family and friends arrived and we waited some more. I have never been so afraid. Then the doctor came in and told us he had suffered a massive heart attack. He didn't make it. To say the least, I was shocked. My first thought was very selfish. "He was supposed to walk me down the isle." After a minute or so, I felt God give me strength. To encourage, console, and even laugh.
The rest of the night was very long and slow It was filled with happy memories and sad realizations.
Wednesday was a mix of different emotions. Every time someone new stopped by, I wanted to break down. By afternoon, I had cried and remembered all I wanted to and a lot more. That's when great friends came to the rescue. We played spoons and pit and ate dinner at a pizza place. That helped so much.
Thursday, we rolled the tree. If you don't know, Michael Whitt was a HUGE Auburn football fan So, in his memory, the town decided to join us in rolling a tree in the front yard one last time. It was amazing. About 100 people showed up.
Friday was long. The visitation and funeral were in the morning. Some friends spread the word that no one should wear black, because this was a celebration. The hardest friends to see were the ones I played softball with and Daddy helped coach just a few weeks ago.I told my youngest sister Julia that next year, I will help be her coach.
Through all of this, God has given me more joy than I have ever felt before. Yes, there is also great pain, but the peace is even greater. A year ago I would have been so afraid of possibly moving, going to school, and the unknown. But now? I say "Bring it." God is in control. Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite verse, ""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope."" God's faithfulness has been displayed through His peace, but also through His providence. Friends all over have blessed us with food, encouragement, and even household needs. What a blessing!
So how do I feel about all of this? I believe that if just one person came to know Christ, it would all be worth it. If our church can grow and flourish and touch lives through this trial, blessed be the name of the LORD! In time, I may be angry, and sad, and lost; but God is my God, and His promise to never leave or forsake me will remain.
Your dad took me out to eat one time at Huggin Mollies (i suppose thats how you spell it.) I had only been a pastor for a year at the time and i was anxious about all that i was going through in the ministry. He told me about what it was like for him when he first became a pastor, which related to what i was going through completely. That helped me a ton. Thanks for your article. Your dad heard the words' Well done good and faithful servant,' i have no doubt. God bless you and your family. It is refreshing to know how He has provided for your family, and will continue to always. Praying for you guys. ---Marcus Murdock
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, you are wise beyond your years. My father died of a heart attack on the side of the road when I was 15 and I so wish I had had your wisdom at that time. I was a Christian then but had not reached the point of maturity of you. You will get angry, you will get down, you will have periods of disbelief and you will finally move on but you will never ever forget what your Dad instilled in you. And you will never ever forget the love your Dad showed you and you will always be able to feel the presence of our Lord and Savior surrounding you with His love. My prayers will be with you and your family
ReplyDeleteI have never met you or your family but you have all touched my heart!! Living in small town Abbeville sometimes its easy to think, I just want to get away! Thank you for your words to us all, friends are important and God's love is sustaining!! My family and I will continue to pray for your family and thanks again for encouraging us in your time of trouble!
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing to read your words. Your father was a friend of friends and his legacy lives on in your heart. It seems that he would be so proud to read your words right now. My father died while I was in college of a massive heart attack. I was not there and was not even a Christian at the time. Now I am married with 3 children and I often try to imagine him playing with what would be his grandchildren. I lament that it can not be this side of heaven but am so blessed that I can see things in my husband (who never had the privilege of meeting my father) that are so much like my father. And I have my brother too who reminds me of him as well. And how sweet to know that our heavenly father loves us so to send the reminders but also reveal that he is all we need! I am so encouraged to see you stand strong in Christ and see that now. What a blessing you are and will be to grieving daughters everywhere. Thank you, thank you for these words!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I have been so encouraged by seeing what the Lord is accomplishing in you during this difficult time. The church @Birmingham (North Shelby Baptist) has been earnestly lifting you , your family and the FBC family in our prayers. as I read your blog I realize how marvelously the Lord has answered. He has given you strength and grace unsurmountable. It is evident that you have not been worshiping at the altar of "happiness". Rather your parents have led you to seek "holiness". Therefore you are receiving His peace and grace. You are not proudly screaming "I don't deserve this" or "why me?" "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6 and i Peter 5:5) grace is more than "unmerited favor". It is the "power and desire to do His will" (IBLP) We don't even have the strength to desire His will. We were "Dead (lifeless) in our trepasses and sins" and He touched us with His gift of faith allowing us to see our need and surrender to Him. You are on the right path with our Lord, wish I had been there when I was a teenager. My idol was my "happiness". Thankfully He is longsuffering.
ReplyDeleteI had been downhearted realizing the spiritual condition of our church and country but I have been inspired by the work the Lord is doing in you. I am ready to continue in His strength as intercessor and exhorter.
Our prayers continue with you all. We serve a Mighty God!!!
Your sister in Christ
Tricia Dunning Hartsfield
(I'm old and computer illiterate hope I didn't double this message )